First Day Back to the College : Gloomy All Day

After a long holiday, I came back today (29/2) as a fourth semester college student. I’m not excited to get along again in study, I don’t know why. Last semester, I still remember that I begin the day with happiness and I even said to myself: “Come on, I can’t wait for today, I’m so excited! I would be very serious and study hard to increase my GPA.”

And, I prove my words. My GPA has increase on third semester.

            Today? I think, I had enough. I’m bored and I will kill myself after suffer for this feeling. Waiting for my good mood back. At least, I need something, or someone, to bring back my mood into a normal condition. I want to meet someone so bad. Someone that I always think every single day. But.. I know, I would never meet this guy on my major or my faculty. The only place I will meet with him... On the student center, on the same hobby club as I am.

            So, the first lesson, Political Communication, wasn’t that good. The lecture was so busy with talk about his self, his experience and his achievements. Sometimes it’s not relevant with the topic and he tried so hard to impress us about the bla, bla, bla on his life. But, the topic itself, the introduction of Political Communication, is not good as I expected. The presentation was really boring with a black font and white background. Politic (for me) is only exciting when we talk about the real condition of politic in our country or in the world. About how the politic control us, play with us, trick us, lie us, but we can’t even see how it works. About political conspiracy. Please bring something real, something we can see, something that break the truth and the silence about political situation,  something that amaze us, not only the theories that you’re talking about.

            The second lesson, Marketing Communication. Honestly, we’ve studied Online Marketing Communication last semester and some parts were just bring back the memories, so all we did in first meeting is just listening the lecture, Mrs. Santi. She’s typical of nice lecture, had a good respect and going along very well with her student.  I found myself a little bit interest to Marketing Communication, just a little bit. I take this lesson because I believe someday this gonna be very usefull. I don’t know, but sometimes I imagine myself to start on my own business and nobody’s can take control over me. And I will take control and lead my own workers someday. But, imagine myself as an author of the book would be more rational than imagine myself to lead around the business.

            After the class, I dragged myself to my favorite place ever: library (PERPUSDA). I came to lend two books, a novel and an inspirational true stories about the amazing, talented and briliant people, that we’ve seen on Kick Andy’s Show (yeah, that television program had a very good book). Then, I came to another library (PERPUS Balai Pemuda), lend a novel and went home early.

            When I drove my motorcycle, I started to thinking about him again. I’m feeling so empty. It’s been two months after the last time I saw him. From his Instagram, I bet that guy has a new looks. I can’t wait to see the difference of the old look and the new one. I know. I know we’re not talking much about anything, because he’s typical of person that can’t trust new people easily. I observed that he’s also rarely talking to another people in our hobby club. He can’t get along and open his self to anyone easily. I can even see that he’s like to being secluded and alone, and also look at the sky with his mysterious and deep eyes.... I don’t know what’s on his mind, but I heard him has a trouble to finish and getting fine on his past love story. I was there, I know how it feels... It’s so hard. I hope he will be fine.

Some people would look him down because he had a bad habit about something, but I didn’t. He’s a good people by his own way. And I’ve been through, saw it by myself. I can see the good things on him, while the other person just look down and talk behind him. He needs someone who trusted on him, and I want to be the one who stay. But... I don’t know how to started. What topic of the conversation that gonna lead us for being close and intimate? How can he trusted me? How can he being enjoy and comfort beside me? Wait, wait, I know. I know we had the same topic of an activity that we both enjoy, beside of the photography itself.

Now, I can see myself, having a chance and a possibility.

***

You.

If you read this, imagine a song by Simple Plan called “Perfect” and this part of lyric is dedicated for you and your kindness:

“Did you know, you used to be my hero.”

Credit photo: http://heartsfile.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/ede-stein-greyswingbwsadphotographyblackandwhite-39db82b73b3a32c306c6c28775cdb76f_h.jpg